Hell Hath No Fury Like Blue Eyes Scorned
by Irrelevancy
Summary: It all started, and ended, late one night in front of the cappuccino machine. Castle/Ryan. Dramatic crack.


**A/N: My first ever Castle/Ryan fic...**

**For the Castle Kink Meme:**

**"Castle/Ryan or Castle/Esposito, cappuccino machine"**

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"It all started, and ended, late one night in front of the cappuccino machine. The curious case... of Kevin Ryan's tie, and the mystery that shocked America...!"

"...Writer's block?" Esposito guessed. Ryan, at his side, shook his head with a disgruntled click on the computer mouse.

"He's Lee Wax-ing. Guess Castle just couldn't resist the sweet temptation of a beautiful author-lady_vying_ for his attention."

"Wait, how do you know that?" At least Castle had the good graces to not try and deny his re-association with the other writer. "I'm sure I kept it down. I even stopped myself from tweeting about it..."

As if to make sure, Castle pulled out his phone with a troubled frown.

"She dropped by the other day," Beckett called, entering the bullpen with a mug of steaming coffee in hand.

"Well... What did she want?" Castle questioned when the female detective didn't make to continue. He stuffed the phone into his pocket and slid into his seat at Beckett's desk just as she sat royally down, and took a sip of her drink.

"She wanted you," Kate replied, letting the satisfied smirk cross Castle's face first before continuing. "And information to our latest case. We caught her trying to sneak onto Ryan's computer."

"However she got my password, I don't know," said detective grounded out from his and Esposito's side of the room. "D'you think Captain mentioned it to her? Or maybe Esposito? Because _you_ definitely didn't, right, Castle?"

Wisely, Castle decided to change the subject.

"...So what did happen to your tie, Ryan?"

"Yeah, man," Esposito piped in. Either he's found the pity he held for Castle's self-induced predicament larger than his amusement, or he was simply too curious to know what happened to his partner's tie. "You didn't take off that tie your girlfriend gave you, no matter how much I told you to get rid of it, and now, when you finally wear a sensible tie, it's gone halfway through the night?"

"It's just a tie." Ryan sent his partner, then Castle, weird looks. "Why're you making such a big deal out of it?"

"Because Castle's bored." Beckett answered before either boys could. She stood up, throwing her jacket over one arm, getting ready to go home. As her black satin pumps _click-clacked_ by, she flashed Esposito a smirk. "And Esposito's got a tie fetish."

Had the remark been directed at Castle, he would've had an excuse to choke, handling not-so-hot coffee and all, but Esposito's hackings soon turned from accident to necessity to a cover to hide his embarrassment. His coughs were so loud, Castle barely caught Kate's off-handed, but thoroughly satisfied "Good night, boys" as she walked to the elevator.

"Yeah, I'll be off too," Castle said mindlessly to the two detectives, Ryan bent over beside Esposito and patting his back, trying to hide a grin, as Esposito continued hacking his lungs out. "I'll just finish this cup and go, then."

Twenty-three steps took him to the break room, and Rick drank his coffee without enthusiasm. It was lukewarm enough to be savory, but still too delicious to pour down the drain. Thus, eleven minutes later (so the clock reports), Richard Castle still stood beside the cappuccino machine, polishing the last of the bittersweet drink.

Apparently, the taste of the drink was distracting enough for him to not notice Ryan entering the room, and conspiratorially locking the door behind him.

By the time Castle turned around, it was too late. The detective had him cornered by the cappuccino machine, wielding an empty ceramic mug and a killer dark smile.

Thank whatever deities that are up there for giving Kevin Ryan an easy temperament.

...But curse them at the same time for revoking that temperament when Castle needed its benevolence the most.

"I swear, I didn't tell her the password," Rick tried to explain, holding up his hands by the silent orders of Eyes-The-Color-Manhattan-Sky-Ought-To-Be™. Ryan blinked once, chuckled, then shook his head lightly - never a good combination, from what Castle knew of human behavior, and this chain of action was something he was quite familiar with each of his ex-wives doing, right after she served him divorce papers.

"You wanted to know why I took off my tie?"

It was Castle's turn to blink blankly, until he regained his senses, and nodded furiously. Any subject was better than something that could possibly incriminate him via Lee Wax's evil schemes again.

"Yeah! That tie I got for you last night!"

"Well Castle," Ryan started. His tone of voice was light, sure, but Castle knew the detective long enough to sense that looming aura of anger behind well-groomed brunet hair. "Y'see, right after I got to work-"

"_We_ got to work."

"-_We_ got to work, I was flipping the tie around, when I saw..."

Ryan's eyes slid suspiciously to the left, and Castle wasn't thinking about running away anymore.

"Saw what?"

"Saw..." Eyebrows above blue eyes rose, while Ryan's eyes themselves slid half closed. Had Castle not known Kevin well enough, he'd have called the smirk playing on the detective's lips _coy_, or even_seductive_, but he knew those words weren't particularly written within his dictionary.

...Or were they?

"Saw...?" Rick didn't want to kill the mood (_heated _and _smoldering_ being some words he would choose to describe it) between them by clearing his throat, so as expected, he found himself listening to the low husk of his voice with a satisfied feel when Kevin licked his lips.

"...I saw a stain..." Kevin stepped closer, and closer, and closer, until Rick's back was pressed completely at the cappuccino machine's side, and the detective was right in front of him. "A _white_stain..."

"A white stain..." the writer parroted in a whisper. Oh how he loved it when Kevin got like this. Granted, Rick's never actually seen him get like this, but it was a truly fruitful experience. He made a mental note to aggravate the detective more. "What... what was it...?"

"I wanted to know too," Kevin continued in a heavy murmur. His arms snaked around Rick's, which had surreptitiously dropped to his side. Every muscle in the writer's body was so tense, he was practically vibrating, and the detective had to chuckle in response. "So... Do you know what I did?"

Coffee-flavored Kevin Ryan fanned over Rick's face, and it was suddenly more difficult to breathe. The author mouthed a silent No, and watched as Kevin pressed closer yet, free hand wounding up and tracing little twirl patterns on Rick's chest.

"I picked it up, pressed it to my mouth..." Their chests were flush together, heat radiating between them, then behind them, as the cappuccino machine whirled into life by a press of Kevin's finger. Rick listened to the cappuccino trickle into the detective's mug, felt the steam rise to soak into his shirt, to see, feel, _think_ something different altogether. Kevin's next words were no help to his quickly rising libido, either. "And I licked it. And you know what it tasted like...?"

Rick should be feeling proud of Kevin's amazingly powerful storytelling abilities, but at the moment, all he could feel was the heat encompassing him on all sides, and the feel of Kevin at his neck. He couldn't even move his mouth anymore; he just shook his head gently no, the hairs on his nape standing at the detective's call.

"...I tasted the whipped cream from last night."

Rick let out a startled breath when Kevin's palm massaged circles into his shoulder and his fingers ghosted against bare skin, and there was no use hiding it anymore. Richard Castle was completely turned on, and Kevin Ryan was enjoying it immensely much.

"So the next thing I did... Do you know what I did? Do you know what I did next, _Rick_?"

Of course he didn't know. He didn't know, and he sure as hell wanted to.

"I moved it up... slightly..." Kevin's voice wasn't even a whisper, now, but a mere breath, playing at Rick's ear, dancing Tchaikovsky across his sensitive skin. "And... I smelled..."

The feel of an ice cube sliding down his back was completely unexpected, and drew out a rather..._unmanly_ scream, to say the least, from Castle. In his struggle to free the frozen component of the "iced cappuccino" part of his cappuccino machine, the author barely caught Ryan's vague smugness and his toast to Castle.

"Coffee," he finished, taking a sip of the freshly prepared drink. "I spilled cappuccino on my tie this morning, so I took it off."

"Y-You...!" Castle sputtered, finally ripping his shirt out from under his belt, and heard the ice cube drop to the floor. "You goddamn tease...!"

Ryan just winked.

"My place tonight?"

**

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**A/N: It... is becoming increasingly hard to not write Ryan as a secret dominatrix in private.**

**-_-;;**

**Tell me what you think? Characterization, and all that. I need... to make Ryan more innocent.**


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